Talk:Watch Out Now/@comment-3575890-20150522054211
God, what a long day. I am happy to announce that it was a full house. Out of 50-something tables, there were hardly any empty seats. There must have been over 300 people there meaning three-hundred people's lives grandma impacted. It was so heartwarming to see that she was loved by so many. The eulogy was beautiful and did grandma the justice she deserved. One part from the speech I really loved was: "if she was to have a superhero name, it would be Wonder Woman - strong, brave, and beautiful." It couldn't be more accurate. It's amazing the effect that a funeral can have over the subconscience because between the funeral, the slideshow presentation, the burial, the reminiscing between family, so many memories with her came flooding back in vivid technicolor. I remembered the months that I lived with her and grandpa at the age of seven. I remembered wanting to ditch school because I wanted to spend more time with her. I remembered playing cards with her. I remembered the coloring books she'd leave out for me. I remembered nights spent watching Little Rascals. I remembered watching her cook with fascination. I remembered having an epic meltdown over a spider dangling above my food at the dinner table and grandma comforting me while grandpa just laughed boisterously at my overreaction. I remembered the one and only time she ever scolded me and my brother when we were cut breaking curfew and how terrible we had felt, lol. I remembered every Christmas. Sitting in church with her, decorating the Christmas tree, grandpa dressing up as Santa and her as his helper elf, her mashed potatoes, singing karaoke with her. I remembered the summer the entire family spent up at the lake at our family cabin and how delightfully smashed we all had been every night, but the fun we had together for that week! I remembered us all squeezing together for a photoshoot for grandma and grandpa's 50th wedding anniversary. I remembered dancing with her at the after party. I remembered attending a Shania Twain concert with her. I remembered, later in her sick years, the occasions we would take her out of the care home to bring her over for dinner or take her out for ice cream. I remembered how much she loved Garrett's play even though her disease prevented her from being able to understand a word of it. I remembered, in the times that I did visit her at the care home, my mom and I singing old songs with her in the music room. I remembered how even after she couldn't remember me anymore, she would still smile at me as brightly as she always would. I remembered her voice, her laugh, her smile, her hugs, the twinkle in her eye. I will always miss her. She was truly the greatest grandmother anybody could ever ask for. When it was time to go to the cemetery, we all got into a bus courtesy of the funeral home services. It gave us all a chance to bond while emotions were high, and it was very sentimental. The final resting place chosen for her couldn't be more perfect. It's out in the country side, and it looks similar to how I imagine the Elysian Fields to look. Best yet, her grave is in plain sight from the road, so we'll be able to see it everytime we drive by. Upon her her burial, we chose for the casket to remain above ground until after we left so we never got to see her be buried and I think it's for the best for a lot of the family. We all got to take a rose from her casket for a keepsake. I'm of course going to preserve it and hold onto it forever. Before we left, my mom and her sisters being as close as they were with grandma, gathered together with grandpa to sing Down By The River - a song that grandma shared with her daughters - one last time before our departure back to the church. I must have been a visible mess because at one point my cousin's girlfriend walked over to me to give me a tissue. Nothing of much relevance in the grand scheme of things, but I was so moved by her kindness. After that, I made a mental note to get to know her better, and I did later tonight. Turns out she and I have a lot in common and vibe very well. Afterwards, we all went up to grandpa's place where all of our family gatherings have been held since as long as I can remember to celebrate grandma. We have a huge family. There are 12 of us grandchildren alone, so you can imagine how packed the place. It brought me to the realization that I miss this side of my family so much. My cousins and I used to be so close - hell, I was close with everyone, but somewhere along the way, I drifted apart from all of them. Especially since mom's side is so tight-knit today. I had come to feel like I couldn't fit in anywhere with them anymore. But tonight, we were all closer than ever. We were drinking, and laughing, and reminiscing about all of the good times we've had together. One thing is for certain that my family knows how party. They're a very fun-loving bunch and when we all get together, we always have so much fun. After tonight, I've come to the epiphany that life is just too short and now more than ever, family is so important. It's funny because it never really bothered me this much until tonight that I've lost touch with my mom's side, but I realize I miss them all so much and I want to start seeing more of them. Grandma was the glue that held our family together in so many ways. With her gone, we need each other now more than ever. My grandpa said trees die, people die, but love is forever. And he's right. It might be too late to compensate for lost time with grandma, but it isn't with everyone else. Anyways, I'm sorry if I've been oversharing. I know I've been posting about her a lot, and it's not fair to you all. I know I have to let her go, but I need to keep her memory alive a little longer, and writing about her is all I can do.